See It Blind

I’ve had multiple conversations with different (and consequently, unrelated) people as of late, and it’s all been regarding the exact. same. topic.

Trust.

Not trust between two people, but rather, how much we trust God.

As Christians, it’s easy for us to “say” we trust God, but it seems more and more these days that there is a line between really trusting God for things, and just giving it lip-service.

Don’t get me wrong, I know what it means to be in the valley. I also know what it means to be on the mountaintop. I’ve had my share of both experiences over the last few years, and anyone who’s being honest with themselves will tell you that it’s always easier to have this kind of trust on top of the mountain. But having been in both spots, I can tell you that while it’s easier to trust on the mountaintop, it’s more important to trust in the valley.

I’ve heard so many people who say they trust God, but don’t show it by their actions, and the words they say that differ from the canned responses they give to the Sunday morning crew (for clarification, the Sunday morning crew are most of the people you encounter on a Sunday morning while sporting your best clothes and your Denteen-gleem smile). Their giveaway is in the everyday talk. It’s on the “reality” of the sickness they’re going through, or in the “counsel” they get from a secular psychologist, who is supposed to have the “answers” to their “problems”.

It seems that the line between truly trusting in God and just saying we are trusting in God is in the everyday life. Now, I’m not taking anything away from the person who gets discouraged from dealing with the day to day grind of an ongoing infirmity, and I’m certainly not knocking anyone who has issues of any nature that, in most circumstances, require the advice or guidance of a professional in that field. But what I am saying is that we have what the doctors and hospitals don’t have…….a faith in the Great Physician. And we have a resource with all the answers that no man can ever give us…..the Bible. But when the going gets tough, where do we turn? We turn to man. And no less, men trained in the secular fields that do not acknowledge or comprehend the Hope that lies within.

But does that Hope REALLY lie within? Or do we just say it does? I said earlier that I’ve had times in the valley. Truth be told, my times in the valley over the last 7-8 years have been so desperate, that at times I sincerely felt like giving up….giving up on God, giving up on the faith of my youth (which yes, is child-like at times), and giving up on the program of God and what He’s called me to. At those times, through the tears and the pain, I’ve rested my problems, my insecurities, and my issues at His feet. Sometimes willingly, sometimes begrudgingly. Thing is, He saw me through….and He saw my family through.

EVERY.
TIME.

So what’s the difference between me, my wife and kids, and others around us who do not look at their faith and their life the same way? We don’t have the answers, but we know Who does. We don’t discredit or deny what the “professionals” say, but we also don’t accept it as truth just because they said it was truth. Because truth and reality are two different things. “Truth” might say that I am unsuccessful because I don’t have a college degree; “Reality” says that my God supplies all my needs. “Truth” says that my son had a partially-collapses lung; “Reality” said that it was fully restored, with no sign of a tear, less than 8 hours after diagnosis.

“As for me and my house….”, we live in reality. Reality is not the world you see, it is in the Unseen. Because the Unseen can walk into the hospital room and touch an infirmity with His hand. The Unseen can touch a mind warped by issues and traumas, and restore wholeness. That’s the reality I choose to live in.

I want to live in the reality He gives, not the “reality” we see.

hands reach out but fall short of your grace skin tears from bone scratching at this dirt that stains with sins i cannot utter in the quiet of this madness screams sound like whispers escaping this cracked vessel longing to be heard crying to be acknowledged but falling on the deafness of those who pretend to know you i’ve been this way before and i’ve seen what these motives bring i cannot remember the last time i felt this weak i will claw my way up through tears and blood none the wiser but fashioned over time i keep circling around this mountain i know i was made to climb.

I try to be as unbiased as the next guy, but this stuff’s getting ridiculous. McCain used to have integrity, but somewhere between his 2000 primary run at the Presidency, and his photo-op with George Bush after clinching the Republican nomination….something happened.

Part One:

Part Two:

So many people try to have an idea of who God is, but they relegate their search to perception instead of reality, societal pull rather than inward reflection, and a skewed viewpoint engulfed in comfort-based, watered down, “what can this do for me” theology rather than a true desire to be like Jesus. ..:namespace prefix = o ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office” />

I’ve watched time after time over the years, both recently and in the past, people who either got burned by another person who “claimed” to be a Christian, who found out that the way to live a Christian life isn’t wrapped up in a neat package the way they were told in Sunday School, or who just flat out gave up on the whole idea of God. It’s saddening, and it’s sickening. Not in a “self-righteous way” sickening, but sickening that today, believing in God means going to a church that makes us feel cozy, rather than making us uncomfortable and challenged to ’step it up’ a bit. Sickening that church has been relegated to a commercialized event, full of Starbucks and social gatherings, rather than a place to feed your soul.

Here’s the news……we’ve all been burned at one time or another. We’ve all experienced pain because of someone else who claimed to be speaking in God’s stead, or who flat out claimed to be something they were not, and made us the recipient of their shortcoming. No one is exempt; we are all susceptible.

When will we (any of us, because we ALL have these feelings from time to time) realize that just because someone does us wrong, that does not mean the whole Church has done us wrong. When will we realize that when we don’t have it figured out, it’s ok to admit it, rather than put on a front behind our nice clothes and our perfect smiles. When will we realize that in our weakness, there is Someone who is far stronger, and that all the answers to the questions we have will always eventually lead back to Him, if we are TRULY searching. Searching doesn’t mean giving up and turning our backs because of something we heard, or because someone on the television asks for money. “Seek and you will find”. Most people I’ve seen who fall into the category listed above get jaded, walk away, and use their experience as a justification for quitting. Then they use that brush to paint their perception of anyone and everyone they come in contact with that might even remotely fit that mold.

They complain rather than search.
They argue semantics rather than inwardly reflect.
They refuse to hear another viewpoint that contradicts their own.

So ask yourself….did God really do you wrong? Or did you just give up? Here’s the thing…….God does not do wrong. It’s impossible for Him because of His nature. That only leaves one other response. Problem is, pride has kept the untold masses from looking in that mirror, because who wants to openly admit they are wrong? I mean, REALLY admit they are wrong? Not many. And that pride is the killer.

Pride that can be hidden.
Pride that can go on for years without acknowledgement from another human being.
Pride that eats away at the heart, that skews perception and clouds the mind.

Drugs and alcohol aren’t killing us. Promiscuity isn’t killing us. Pride is killing us, in slow, small increments.

“Seek and you will find” - Matthew 7

SEEK. and you will find.

I posted this elsewhere, but thought it fitting to put it here as well.

-I’m thankful for my wife, who in every sense is the completion of everything and anything I am, and who supports, loves, and helps me be the person I should be.

-I’m thankful for my 3 sons, all of whom put a smile on my face at least once a day.

-I’m thankful that in His loving grace, God saw past who I was, who I am, and instead sees who I am becoming. His mercy on me is felt on a daily basis.

-I’m thankful for every person I’ve ever come across or come in contact with, good or bad. You can glean something off every single person you cross paths with, no matter how brief.

-I’m thankful that even though there was a time during this year that things really sucked (for lack of a better way of defining it), God in His infinite wisdom helped us look to Him, helped us learn how to REALLY trust Him, and saw us through it all.

Ok, so they don’t suck, but approaching Christmas time, I’m again reminded of how consumer-driven we’ve become. Midnight sales, 5am sales, 2 day sales, 4 day sales, ad nauseum. It all gets a little tired. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those “Buy Nothing Friday” types, or totally anti-consumer, but I think this time of year reminds us more of our drive to get “stuff”, and less about things that should be important to us, like loving others, giving, and the gentle reminder of who Jesus is in our lives. There’s a balance in all of it, though. Honestly, we shouldn’t have to use a holiday to remind us of the One who came to earth to redeem mankind. We shouldn’t have to use a holiday as a reason to give unto others. But instead of this being engrafted as part of who we are, we wait for a man-ordained holiday to help spur us to have “goodwill towards man”. And it always makes me wonder, why do we have to do that? Because we are self-absorbed, self-centered, and only concerned with the here and now, rather than the future.

I’m becoming more self-aware of how I’m enabling my kids by ravaging them with “things”, rather than teaching them the importance of giving, or of even doing without some of those things that aren’t necessary. It’s sad that before every holiday, and before every birthday, we have to do a purge of the kids closets and toy chests, in an attempt to make room for the next surge of things. But it is becoming an all-too-familiar event. It’s a hard lesson learned, a hard change to make, and a hard truth to swallow.

I wish things were more simple sometimes. I’m watching “Fiddler on the Roof” currently, which automatically makes me think of the first time I watched it when I was younger. Things seemed much easier back then. Different set of issues, I suppose. Truth is, life probably seemed just as difficult back then as it does now, just in a different way. I also suppose it’s true that with responsibility comes the realization that much of what you deal with as an adult is by your own doing. Much of what you have to confront day in and day out is not from things out of your control, but rather caused by your own hand.

Times like this make me want to shut off from the world completely. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I don’t want to socialize. I don’t want to talk on the phone. Again, truth be told, I’d like to go somewhere to escape everything. I guess that’s part of the whole equation, too. As much as we don’t want to confront our own situations, running from them is futile, and many times, not even possible. If we CAN run from our issues, it’s only temporal, and you usually can’t get very far. Inevitably, our problems will catch up with us. It serves no purpose to run, for if we confront, we can overcome.

Confront, and overcome.

Sometimes I get sick of trying to figure things out. I know the flipside of that is just to say, “hey, just trust in God, He’s in control”. Yeah, I know that’s true, but sometimes the pat answers just don’t do it. I mean, I believe in God, I trust in Him, I give Him all I’ve got (or at least I try to), but sometimes the answers just don’t come easily.

I don’t doubt Him, I just wish He’d show me a little bit more of the big picture.

I saw a 16 year old kid at the mall the other day, dressed head-to-toe in straight edge gear.

Not band stuff, mind you, but a hoodie that said nothing else anywhere on it but STRAIGHT EDGE across the front.

Come see me when you’re 21 and still straight edge, kid. For God’s sake, you’re 16…….you’re SUPPOSED to be straight edge.

Today I watched the MSNBC rebroadcast of NBC’s 9/11 original telecast…..

It still hurts just as much now as it did the day it happened.

No politics, no controversy, no conspiracy theories, no picketing……no Sadaam, WMD’s or Cindy Sheehan…..just pain for those who were lost, and for the countless husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, and kids left behind trying to pick up the pieces.

I hate this day.